Let's Talk About Sex

During my time at university, I worked part-time at a well-known, popular adult store. It has to have been one of my favourite jobs to date. It made me feel empowered, sexy and confident.

One of the things I found most liberating was talking freely and openly on a daily basis about sex and ‘taboo’ topics. We covered everything from role play, BDSM, the difficulties of getting into latex, to sex toys, threesomes, and even edible underwear. One topic I loved learning about was period sex!

Before I worked there, period sex was something I’d thought about alone, maybe discussed with a partner, but it was never something I widely or openly discussed with friends. I just assumed a lot of people thought it was gross or disgusting and shouldn’t be talked about. Having always been private about it, I was surprised to find it was one of the most frequently talked about topics in the shop. We always had people coming in and asking advice or top tips on how to enjoy some intimate time between the sheets during their period. The main things I learnt is that it’s totally normal to want sex during your period, and it can actually be very enjoyable. A lot of people even experience higher sex drives during their period. I personally found that once I embraced it, I really started enjoying period sex. Yes, there will be some mess, but sex is messy in general! I found period sex to be even more intimate and has made me feel closer to my partner, as well as helping with my cramps and easing any sexual tension... so it’s a win win!

TOP TIP: A lot of people used a device called a Lumma, a reusable silicone menstrual disc (like a mooncup with a string) that can be worn during sex. Once inserted it will avoid any mess, and after you pull the string and remove the same as a tampon!

Some people just do not feel comfortable having sex when on their period, so we must remember that there are many other ways to enjoy some intimate time with your partner. I discovered that lots of people loved to use their period as a time to engage in ‘dirty talk’ and build up sexual tension between one another. Whereas, others preferred to cuddle or share a relaxing bath with their partner! My time working in this store taught me that intimacy isn’t always sexual, and your period can be a really nice time to just engage with your partner.

The biggest thing I learnt from my job was how empowering it is to talk openly and share personal experiences. There is no right or wrong when it comes to period sex, it is down to the preferences of yourself and your partner.  I messaged a bunch of friends to get them talking about period sex and find out about their experiences and views. After all, everyone is different!...

“I heard a rumour that your body doesn’t actually bleed during sex, but I’d rather not risk it! I’m a bit of a prude!”

“It wasn’t like the murder scene I’d pictured in my head! I just put a towel down and we jumped in the shower afterwards which was really nice and quite intimate post sex. Period shower sex is also really nice and works if you are worried about any mess. I think it still felt really good in general, I was comfy with my partner and in all honesty, having an orgasm makes the period more bearable!”

“I enjoy it when I’m towards the end of my period. Personally I enjoy more clit stimulation during my period because I get super sensitive.”

“My biggest advice is BE CONFIDENT! It’s very easy to be anxious and paranoid about the mess but just try to enjoy yourself.”

“Personally, I’m not interested in period sex, it’s when I feel most groggy and I’d

rather just snuggle up and watch a film together.”

“My current boyfriend won’t have period sex, which annoys me but I also respect his choice, he just doesn’t feel comfy and is happy to wait! I just find it frustrating as I’m always really in the mood when I’m on my period. I think there has always been a stigma around period sex, I’m unsure why, but this is why I have only ever done it with boyfriends rather than casual partners. I’d just say, stick to missionary and put a towel down.”

“It’s all about being comfy with your partner, he really doesn’t mind me being on my period, we live together so it’s just part of the routine now! His sex drive is still the same and he’s just as keen for sex! He’d rather the mess then wait a week!”

 “I personally tend to find myself hornier towards the middle or end of my period so find sex really enjoyable at this time. However, I wouldn’t do it with a stranger- it’s too much about

trust!”

“Funnily, I feel really sexy when I’m on my period, it reminds me what my body is built for and capable of, I don’t see an issue with embracing that!”

“I’ve had period sex quite a lot, I think with all of my relationships (apart from the same-sex ones). Generally, I think it’s great as the girl can be WAYYYY hornier on her period and the natural lubricant that happens often makes for really great sex - I don’t give oral sex during this time though which is a shame because I love to, but it’s just not something I’m comfy with doing, that and none of the girls I’ve been with have been either. I think it’s important to make sure the girl is really comfortable as she may be quite self-conscious about the whole thing, you can chuck a towel down, but in my experience, it’s never really that messy, but sex is messy in general isn’t it! That’s part of the fun! - I think period sex is frowned upon because society is weird in all honesty, women are sexualised but only the parts that aren’t “messy”. Equally, I think it tends to come hand in hand with immaturity, most of my friends are up for it!”

~ Anonymous

Find any of these comments relatable? Have any further questions? Why not open this discussion up to your friendship group and help to #normaliseperiodtalk. 

Our DM’s are always open to your questions or advice: @theperiodtalks. 

Please for any professional advice speak to a qualified Doctor and take a look at the websites we shared on our blog: “Pillow Talk”